What is cognitive dissonance?
Have you ever realized that two things that you strongly believe in suddenly contradict one another? Maybe you are someone who usually prioritizes honesty in a relationship, but find yourself staying quiet to avoid a difficult conversation with your partner. You may ask yourself why you can’t just do it or feel like you’re failing. The feeling can be uncomfortable and often hard to describe. It’s called cognitive dissonance.
Cognitive dissonance is defined as “psychological conflict resulting from incongruous beliefs and attitudes held simultaneously” (COGNITIVE DISSONANCE Definition & Meaning – Merriam-Webster). In simpler terms, it’s the mental discomfort a person experiences when holding two contradictory beliefs at the same time. It can also occur if one’s actions don’t align with their beliefs. Cognitive dissonance can be difficult to identify, but is often associated with feelings of anxiety and shame. It’s important to remember that you are not alone in this feeling.
How can we address it?
Becoming defensive is a common result of experiencing cognitive dissonance. We as humans naturally want to protect ourselves and will use avoidance as a way to handle internal conflict. This is because admitting to a contradiction often hurts our sense of pride. It may seem like the easiest choice at first to simply deflect, but this can eventually lead to mental spiraling. The best way to stop cognitive dissonance—while difficult—is to change behavior. To do this, we must be honest and learn how to have hard conversations with ourselves. We have to take accountability and acknowledge that we may be in the wrong while also knowing that we aren’t worth any less as a person because of it.
There are a few practices that can help with reducing cognitive dissonance, starting with acknowledgement. After all, acknowledgement is the first step to change. Some of these practices include journaling, therapy, and meditation. All of these activities are based in mindfulness—in slowing down our thoughts and staying calm. They can help us notice what we are avoiding and where our actions clash with our beliefs. From there, we can begin to take steps to change our behaviors, further reducing cognitive dissonance in everyday life.
When does cognitive dissonance occur?
Cognitive dissonance can often occur when faced with new experiences or hearing stories about other people’s hardships. We may realize that a system we always trusted has been failing someone else, which can cause us feelings of discomfort. For example, maybe you are an avid spender on a popular clothing site, only to come across an article that describes the company’s exploitation of their workers. Many people would experience cognitive dissonance in the wake of this discovery, accompanied with feelings of guilt or even denial. The best way to stop this feeling would be to stop shopping there—even if you like the company’s clothing—and finding somewhere more ethical to shop.
It’s extremely important to remember that change is usually uncomfortable. Whether it be in the form of self-reflection or moving away from your parents, changing is often stressful. But it’s a part of life. When you’re feeling uncomfortable, remind yourself that everyone experiences this feeling at some point in their lives. You aren’t alone and you aren’t failing. People are never perfect, and we should all look at cognitive dissonance as an opportunity to grow.
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